4 Months & Counting - Bring It On 2012!!

So it's been 4 months in and so far nothing majorly disastrous has happened.... So far 2012 seems to be going a lot better than 2011 - However, with 8 months left for our imminent doom, let's not hold our breath for too long! 

Getting back to the matter at hand - I'm not very good at sticking to New Year's resolution so I decided not to make any this year, but rather wait a while to see how the year was gonna go before I started planning too much.... One quarter in and so far so good, so now I'm gonna take a look at what needs to be worked out. And list it out - simply because I like lists :P

1) Career

One of the main reasons I started this blog last year was that work stress was getting to me waaaay too much than was comfortable. In fact last year the "work" part was all about change & limbo - I had no clue what I was doing or where I wanted to be -  in fact I changed jobs twice in the last year! 2012 is all about stability - I finally have a job that challenges me in ways I never thought possible! Its brought out skills and strengths I didn't know I had. While its not to say that there aren't sources of stress (such as b***** bosses and flawed systems) I honestly think I can learn a lot from this job, and use it as a stepping stone to greater feats. But in the meantime I also need to work something out for myself - find something I am truly passionate about and go for it!

Goals for 2012

- Get Confirmed

- Stay where I am for at least 1 year

- Look for a good business opportunity for a start-up venture

2) Family 

Last year while I went through the most emotional turmoil ever my family were the only ones there to deal with all the drama that no one else was supposed to see, even when at times I completely shut them out! 2012 so far has been a good one for the "FAM" as a whole - we've been spending a lot more time together and actually having fun :) 

Goals for 2012

- Spend more time with the family (at least one family trip this year!) 

- Help out more around the house (starting with dishes!)

3) Friends

2011 was the year that I alienated most of my friends and it was not my proudest moment, but sometimes you just can't help it - Circumstances get in the way. 2012 in that way has been far more promising - met up with the BC gals several times which has got to be way more than the last 2 years combined!! So this year is going to be back to basics with the friends even if it means I have to go back to my organizing ways!! 

Goals for 2012

- Make sure to meet up with the different gangs at least once every 2 months

- Those who are far away will have to make do with the constant FB bugging

4) Relationships

2011 like every other year was the same mantra "you don't need a guy" or rather if I were to look at it from a 5th grade POV "guys stink" :P 2012 I think will be the year to be more open to the prospect that not all guys might be losers or cheats or liars and give them the benefit of the doubt!! 

Goal for 2012

- DO NOT RUN!! 

5) Education

Let's face it - I'm a nerd and proud of it! I really missed not studying anything last year ( if you don't count trying and failing at psych!). I've done my degree, done my post grad diploma and am collecting work experience - so the next natural step is Master's. This year will be used to lay down all the ground work for a good MBA programme. Which means tackling one of the toughest exams - The GMAT.

Goal for 2012

- Study and pass the GMAT

6) Extra Curricular

Last year was completely one dimensional - WORK!! And that was not a very healthy option. So this year its all about rounding out and changing focus towards finding the right balance between work and play. Starting dancing classes has so far begun to do that, so its all about continuity now. 

Goals for 2012

- Finish with the Beginner's class and move to Advanced class

- Start a new sport

- Learn a new language 

7) Myself

I need to also focus on myself or as my mother puts it have some "me time" - so 2012 is gonna be more about me too... If I don't care about me no one else is going to. So I've decided to set my self some goals regarding me! 

Goals for 2012

- Gain 10kgs so that I will be underweight no more 

- Get a tattoo (finally got permission!) 

- Blog more since writing is good for the health :)

I think I've finally got my To - Do List down which will serve as a directional guide for all things 2012, which I truly believe will be a completely different and better experience than 2011; at least until the inevitable doom and gloom of world's end!! 

xoxo

Best Friends - Sometimes you just need 'em

Sometimes it only takes one phone call….. Hearing that familiar voice after so long brings back so many memories of a time not so long ago when you were inseparable, when you would see each other every day and still talk on the phone for hours afterwards – you may think I’m talking about a boyfriend or girlfriend…. Nope, I value much more – A Best Friend!!

Definitions of a best friend vary but surprisingly 'Urban Dictionary' says it best; “Best Friends are the very special people in your life. They are the first people you think about when you make plans. They are the first people you go to when you need someone to talk to. You will phone them up just to talk about nothing, or the most important things in your life. When you’re sad they will try their hardest to cheer you up. They give the best hugs in the world (even if, like me you hate hugs:P)! They are the shoulder to cry on, because you know that they truly care about you. In most cases they would take a bullet for you, coz it would be too painful to watch you get hurt.”

Growing up a BFF (best friend forever) usually meant that one person in your class or in your home crowd that you did everything with, you would talk the same, walk the same, like the same things and sometimes even dress the same…. However, when you grow up things start to change; instead of having just one BFF, you might have a few extraordinary people in your life that really & truly understand you; people who you can completely be yourself around and not give a care in the world about your actions or feelings because they won't judge you for the stupid things you may do or say.

For me I think it’s the latter and it took a long time to get there. Growing up I believed in the concept of having that ONE BEST FRIEND for life, but circumstances led to me seeing them turn their backs on me. This made me lose faith in the entire concept and build walls around myself coz I didn’t want to get hurt again. I kept everyone at arm’s length – sure you’d be my friend but there would always be boundaries. It took a long time - and in my late teens a couple of friends (who would later go on to become some of my best friends to date) calling me out rather bluntly on not letting anyone in - to slowly start to rebuilding my belief in the latter concept. I still keep up the walls but if you can and do break through them then you would automatically reach the status of BFF; and frankly I think I’ve got some of the good ones.

Which brings me back to the phone call. Life being what it is we don’t always make the effort to keep in touch or meet up like we used to back in our school & uni days, but that doesn't mean we don’t think of them every day. So today I made the effort and called up one of mine in the land down under. And here’s the best part – even though we hadn’t spoken in more than 3 months it  seemed like no time had passed – she was still the same person I saw way back in august, still the person I go to advise on things other people would think are trivial, still the person I could drool over hot guys with, still the same person I could laugh about the weirdest things with. Even when more than a thousand miles separated us, she still gets me. That's the beauty of a best friend and it makes me miss her even more.

The same can be said for most of the others too. 2011 has been one of the most trying years of my life and it hasn’t been any less trying when it came to friendships. I’ve had to deal with some of my bestest friends moving abroad, getting married and leaving to new lives, and even the ones left in colombo becoming increasingly busy so much so that we hardly ever meet…. Guess that’s all a part of growing up and I need to learn to deal with it no matter how much I miss them.

The worst is that sometimes this also leads you to growing apart.People change as you grow older and sometimes the person you thought you knew inside out does a dramatic 180° and virtually becomes a stranger, whether by choice or by circumstance – and it plain SUCKS!! when you can't seem to do anything to change it coz you know things will never be like they used to... It could also be that you changed as well, but it doesn’t make you miss them any less. I guess we can’t always be kids in our thinking that best friends need to see each other and talk to each other everyday, and always like the same things to maintain that bond. 

I know that no matter how often or how little I see or speak to them the people that matter will always have that special place in my heart. So please know that even if I might not talk to you as much as I used to or hang out as much as we used to, doesn't mean I love you guys any less…. I would still take that bullet for you, come bail you out of jail if you need me to, try my best to give you advice if you need me to, go get buzzed with you if you had a bad day, or just be there to listen to you if you need to vent your frustration about anything no matter how stupid you think it might be!!!

In the words of Micheal Jackson “Just call my name & I’ll be there” – Miss you guys loads everyday!!! xoxo

Vital Facts on Surviving Guantanamo Bay

I'm sure that most of us feel like we are stuck in a prison cell when it comes to our offices, especially certain govt. offices and such that will remain unnamed...... One of my good friends sent me this list sometime ago which explains exactly how we feel and also gives us a few survival tips for surviving our metaphoric "Guantanamo Bay", which I felt was too good to remain unpublished.... All credit goes out to $ - Man with a lil bit of tweaking by yours truly....

1.      It will always be boring – there is no survival tip for this, come loaded with quality reading material or load your phone up with a lots of games

2.        You’re on your own - Do not even think of befriending the other inmates coz they will most likely be caught up in their own life sentences to care, so always look out for "Numero Uno"

3.         Talking with a colleague is frowned upon by the wardens

4.     Talking with a colleague from the opposite gender is definitely frowned upon and will be the topic of the week

5.    You aren’t at any circumstance supposed to look happy – if you smile with some one, 90% of the time don’t expect one back

6.      Even when you don’t have any work you are supposed to sit at your seat and stare at your computer from 8.30 – 5.30 (only if you are lucky - Otherwise this may even stretch out to 7.00 or even 8.00)

7.        Always walk around with a book in your hand, because just idling around is another reason for frowns

8.           Open minded – You won’t find it here

9.       Additional benefits other than your salary – Don’t expect any ever, they may say health benefits – Kidding me right???

10.  People on 'Death Row' under the sun roof get an additional benefit of getting baked in the sun from around August to January – Wow a Free Tan!! Bring on the Vitamin D!!!

11.    If the AC and the lifts are switched off – its part and parcel of the daily goings on..... You can expect to start work in the sveltering heat and end it up just the same....  

12.  The tiled wall on the ground floor does make it look like a hospital – you’re supposed to look past it and appreciate the artistic beauty

13.    There are two tea breaks one at 9.30AM and another at 3.30PM – Please be in your seat at these times if you want this privilege, as you will not be entitled to "sugar syrup" at any other time

14.   No Canteen - bring your own rations or starve in the process, coz at Guantanamo Bay their ain't a decent eating place for miles around... and its not like you'll be let out just to eat!!!

15. The Chief Warden (who might at times be slightly delusional) will have you do random tasks that have no meaning within the shortest possible time span...and then when you have completed this task.... will make you redo the same thing 50 different ways in the same time span - Just because he feels like it and just because he can!!! 

16. On occasion you will be let out for Good Behaviour, but this will involve a lot of hard manual labour and kow-towing to wardens from other branches of Guantanamo Bay.

17. Having an opinion is not encouraged, discussing your opinion with others is frowned upon. In fact it would be much appreciated if all inmates were brainless clones, whose minds can be moulded according to the wishes of the warden.

18.  There is no escaping this place alive – The only ways out are to swim through the garbage river or run the 1 kilometer to the gate

Happy Musing Folks.... See you soon...xoxo

Yoga – The Union of Mind, Body and Soul

  

Just a short one today…. Guess who has become a brand new beginner “Yogini” – Yours Truly, of course J It was decided that I needed to have amalgamation of my mind, body and soul in order to achieve a state of tranquility (in other words to make sure that I can control my thoughts, without them being all over the place and in essence, focus on achieving goals!)

So anyways now I’m going for yoga twice a week and we follow the way of the Sivanada Yoga Vedanta Centres which consist of the following;

1. Proper Exercise (Asanas) - Yoga poses help develop a strong, healthy body by enhancing flexibility and improving circulation.
2. Proper Breathing (Pranayama) - Deep, conscious breathing reduces stress and many diseases.
3. Proper Relaxation - Helps keep the body from going into overload mode, easing worry and fatigue.
4. Positive Thinking (Vedanta) and Meditation (Dhyana) - These are the true keys to achieving peace of mind and eliminating negativity in our lives.

The Pranayama and Relaxation techniques are easy enough, but when we get into things like the “Surya Namascaraya” and the “Asanayas”, as well as the other exercise techniques; OMG it’s like bring on the pain….. you really want to curse the day that the swami was born…… but then after a while you get the hang of it and then come the shocker…. You find that you can actually do some of those moves and get into shapes that you think only human pretzels or circus performers can get into…. And it is quite therapeutic too....

But then all too soon class is over and you go home to nurse your sore muscles and ponder over whether achieving inner tranquility is worth all the fuss!!! Maybe it is…. Maybe it isn’t…Perhaps only time will tell… However I have already begun to notice that it has helped me to gain some focus and also helped with the sinus problem!!! If only it would do something to increase the appetite :P  

Whatever said and done, I will definitely yell it out from the rooftops on the day that I am finally able to “Sirshasana” or Head Stand…. Until then - xoxo 

Brothers – Just Blood or Something More??

Harry Potter and Ron Weasley

Ryan Atwood and Seth Cohen

Lucas and Nathan Scott

Sam and Dean Winchester

These are some of my favourite “brothers” in pop culture, which brings me to the question; should we consider brothers to be those to whom we are directly related by blood? Or is there something more powerful that can turn strangers into friends and friends into brothers?

Just to be clear, I’m not talking about the sibling dynamic (brothers and sisters) – Just Brothers – Two boys or men whose relationship is so strong that it surpasses all bonds of blood and can withstand any obstacle thrown at it!! The best of friends – two extensions of the same person (now people, calm down! I’m talking about strictly platonic relationships here), brothers by choice not by biology.

This sense of brotherhood among guys has always intrigued me. It somehow seems more raw and real than the bonds between us girls (I’m not judging – coz believe me I’ve got some of the best BFFs a girl could ask for!).  They seem to be very direct with how they act around their brothers and everything is taken at face value in the exact sense it was meant to be taken. We girls tend to think that guys are not in touch with their emotions and find it difficult to express themselves – who knows - maybe they don’t talk about the same stuff as us girls and maybe they don’t overanalyze things like we do, but between brothers actions often speak louder than words. They stand by each other through thick and thin, and while they may not talk about a lot of stuff, they definitely do talk about the important things. In fact guys are probably more open to their bros than they even are to their wives and girlfriends; since they know that they will not be judged and what they say will be taken in the same context, coz GUYS JUST GET GUYS!!! I don’t profess to be an expert on the “bro – ness” of it all, but there must be something to it for even the “Bro Code” (no, not the one invented by Barney Stinson, but an actual one) to exist.

That is why it is heartbreaking when a brotherhood so strong suddenly disintegrates into nothingness. Guys who have had this extra strong bond for years, sometimes for most of their lives (even growing up together), guys who have stood up for each other through any hurdle in their way, guys who have been inseparable; Brothers at heart…… Is there really something so bad that they could do to one another to break that bond of brotherhood that has grown rock solid over the years? Is there really one act so heinous that it could damage even the strongest of bonds? Shouldn’t their trust in each other be able to withstand anything? Shouldn’t they be able to forgive each other regardless of what it was, considering how long they have been “Brothers”? Or does it really come down to the biology of it all…. Would biological brothers be able to forgive more easily than ‘bros’ simply because they’re related? Shouldn’t brotherhood built up over years of trust and understanding be able to withstand more than simple biology?

Maybe I’m rambling on at this point, but as a sister who has personally witnessed first hand the breaking of such brotherhood, it is very sad and difficult to understand; and it does make me want to figure out what went wrong. However, being a girl and not privy to their relationship it is unfathomable to me how people so close could be torn so far apart…….. Would them being biological brothers have made it easier to accept that one did something terribly wrong and that the other should be able to forgive him? I will probably  never know……

Anyways here’s hoping that by some miracle somehow that things could go back to the way they were before, even though at times their closeness would lead to them ganging up on me and bugging the life out of me (figuratively of course!); it would be way better than this feeling now of not knowing what went wrong and how to fix it……… 

I guess figuring it all out sometimes does not only extend to yourself but also to those closest to you……. And right now I’m gonna go back to it….xoxo 

Cross Roads - Demon??!!

According to ‘Supernatural’ Folklore ‘Cross Roads Demons’ are entities that make formal agreements or bargains with humans, granting any wish in exchange for claiming their life and soul at a fixed point in the future and are generally summoned by burying a container of ritual items, including a photograph of the summoner, graveyard dirt, a black cat bone, and possibly yarrow at the center of a crossroads. Very random I know…… but this is the first thing that crossed my mind when I started thinking of crossroads, which brings me back to the actual point, which is the metaphorical demon also known as the “cross road”……..

It’s like; just when you think that you’ve finally got a firm grip on that thing  called life and you actually come up with – wait for it – “a plausible plan”, then  Bam!, you hit a crossroad that has an equally enticing offer on the other end. That’s when everything falls apart again… ok now I’m being a tad overdramatic…… but cross roads do end up making you question and rethink everything you are doing…..

My cross road at the moment is the choice between doing what is expected of me or what I’ve always dreamed of doing even though it might not bring out the results I want….. Which brings me to my dilemma….. In Sri Lanka since the culture basically revolves around the family unit and since in my case my parents are still financially setting me up, the issue at hand is - should I take the route they want me to take and live the “perfect life” in a dream job that could secure my future and settle down comfortably in SL?  Or should I just chuck it all and go for what my gut is telling me to, which is to get out, travel for a while and go to the land down under in pursuit of higher studies (and other things :P) regardless of the consequences?

I was chatting to an old friend today over an iced tea and a hot chocolate, when we started talking about where we thought we would be today if our daydreams had come true…… and believe me when I tell you that we both are a trillion miles away from those blissful dreams of our younger days….. and not in a good way either!!!! This got me thinking – shouldn’t we go for our dreams while we are still young even though we may crash and burn in the process? At almost a quarter century old I’m definitely not getting any younger and pretty soon whether I like it or not I’m gonna have to start thinking of that “dreaded M word” (marriage :S) and settling down in life….. so isn’t this the time to lay it all on the line and just go for it……

But on the other hand am I being selfish in only thinking of what I want??? Shouldn’t I think of what my parents want me to be…. After all they are the ones who brought me up for all of my life, so shouldn’t I buck up and do what they want… because let’s face it, they aren’t getting any younger either and aren’t going to be totally financially independent forever….so shouldn’t I work towards providing some sort of security for them as well?? Maybe I should take the job because it is a really really good one, that I know I could end up enjoying and they are right in saying that I might not get as golden an opportunity as this one (coz there are people who would kill for this job)!!!!

Which brings me back to the crossroads and at the moment I would gladly make a deal with a crossroads demon to make this choice for me…. But life wouldn’t be the ride it is and not even an ounce as fun if everything came easy….

So off I go to figure things out once again… maybe I should just flip a coin and see what happens!!!!! xoxo

Random "Rage Runs" At Yet Another Pointless Meeting

Disdain

Frustration

Loathing

Boredom

Regret 

Exhaustion

Is it possible to feel all these things at once. It can be when you sit at yet another Oh - So important meeting  at an Oh - So important "Family" company. 

In today's modern context  where most of the corporate world is moving towards efficiency and higher productivity through use of modern technology, eliminating the need for long hours of mundane meetings which - at the end of the day take away from the time in which productive work can take place and allow for employees to maintain some semblance of work life balance, while maintaining an illusion of a healthy lifestyle. 

However, in Sri Lanka some companies seem to be regressing further and further into the Stone Age. Delegation seems to be an unheard of word to certain corporate autocrats, who still wish to cling to control as if their lives depended on it (I suppose in this case it does...) due to the fact that they cannot face the reality that is their empty shell of a life spent solely chasing an unattainable dream. Instead they wish to exert control in all directions, essentially torturing their employees and smothering any ounce of value addition which would lead to them (like me) sitting here in this meeting pondering on the aforementioned feelings.

Let me illustrate further.......

Most Sri Lankans either looking for jobs in or currently working in an executive capacity in Colombo and its suburbs have got either a college degree or an equivalent professional qualification. Does this not qualify them to answer a simple email? or should they be forced to hold  onto each piece of communication to be looked over by said "Big Wigs" and be told - like automatons - what their replies should be? 

Would this not lead towards cultivating a feeling of distrust (like that of a teenager still being forced to have their homework checked by their parents before submitting it in), leading to lack of focus and commitment towards the job at hand, ultimately resulting in loss of profitability  ( which is what said Dictators are trying so hard to protect)...

Therefore would it not be a logical conclusion that an extremist level of control on fairly intelligent individuals combined with long hours of meetings, taking away from productive working time; in essence destroy from within, these 'Empires' that the despots have worked so hard to build. It would also be safe to say that these companies commit suicide from within by desperately fighting so hard to hold onto a long drawn out dream.

From the individual's point of view how long would they remain loyal to an organization or leader who continuously undermines their intelligence, distrusts them in even the most basic of tasks and reduces any possibility of maintaining a work life balance through absurd wastes of time..... Even an employee who receives the most desirable remuneration on earth can only take so  much (dare I say it..) 'Torture' before deciding that they would be better off without their tormentors..... because people today are not only motivated by Money but prefer satisfaction and appreciation of their work. 

This is where multi nationals or global companies prosper, overtaking local family conglomerates. We talk about 'Brain drain' in a global context yet we fail to see the internal 'brain drain' where more employees are leaving home grown organizations for multi nationals which value initiative and delegation, thereby enhancing their talent pool with Sri Lanka's best brightest, while the local control freaks are left with mediocre staff who have either no ambition or have become complacent in their job roles, not contributing new idea but rather going with the flow.  

Anyways now that the rage run is over... It's back to real life and figuring out what comes next :)